I recently met someone who lets her son cry himself to sleep every night. She's so wrapped up in her electronics that it doesn't bother her. She sends him to bed and screams at him from the next room to go to bed over his cries while she's surfing Facebook or Instagram. Eventually, this 3 year old boy will adjust and he'll learn to soothe himself and go to sleep, maybe. I know many other kids his age that lay and go to sleep on their own. They were trained to do that at an early age. Maybe this is the right way to parent, I'm no expert! But, it's not the right way for me or for my family! It would kill me to go through this every night.
We've made some poor choices with our bed time routines! So I'm the last person to give advice! For the first year of our big boy's life I spent hours holding him after he fell asleep. It was my favorite part of the day. Nothing is more precious than a sleeping baby and nothing made me happier than holding and kissing all over him after a long day! Because of my need to hold him close at night while he slept, he never learned to self soothe! We still lay down with him and sing him to sleep!
When he was born we were extremely worried about SIDS, like I assume all parents are, and we followed all of the pediatrician's advice for the first 6 months of his life. He slept in his own bed, no loose blankets, had a paci, slept on his back, you know... everything they tell you when you bring a baby home. After 6 months he outgrew the bed he was in and it was time to transition him to his crib. Early on we had no success with the crib and that's how he ended up sleeping in a Rock n Play sleeper for 6 months to begin with. So we knew the transition would be rough, but we were committed (at first)! After a few weeks of no sleep, we caved! He ended up in our bed! We swore it was only for a few nights, but 2 & 1/2 years later he's still there!
Baby girl is still sleeping good on her own, so maybe she won't need to be in our bed. But, our son did. He still does. We're slowly transitioning him into his own bed. He has this amazing fire truck bed with a slide! What kid doesn't want to slide out of bed in the morning? He loves the slide... he just wishes it was on mommy's bed! Even though baby girl still sleeps on her own, she doesn't really self soothe either! Every night we lay down with our children and put them to sleep. Our big boy usually chooses if he wants Mommy or Daddy to lay down with him and then the other puts baby girl to bed. Then, if we're not too tired, we get up and have a little bit of down time before bed!
The truth is, before we had kids we both agreed we didn't want them sleeping in our bed for many reasons and we were determined to stick to that. Before we had kids!! There's a lot of things I didn't know before I had kids, a lot of things I swore I wouldn't do when I did have kids. Now, I wouldn't change a thing. There's still nothing more precious than a sleeping baby (or toddler!) I don't sleep as good as I used to, but that's ok! They are only going to be little once. I'm only going to be able to make these memories for a short amount of time. There's nothing more precious than the smile on his face or the sound of his voice when he wakes up and says "good morning, I love you"! Sure, it would still be precious from his room! But, he'll have far more days waking up in his bed than he's going to have waking up in mine! I'm sure when that time comes, they'll be something so special about it that I won't want anything to change. Kids grow and they change, quickly, I might add. These moments only last for a short time. I don't want to be so absorbed in social media, electronics, tv, or any other distraction that I let these little moments pass me by. This year is about making memories and cherishing the small, everyday moments. In the end, those are the ones that matter! That's what life is about!
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