As part of my "New Year, Better Me" resolution, I'm trying to be healthier. I've struggled with weight problems my whole life. It's always made me very self-conscious and uncomfortable in groups and in front of people and has caused more than a few fights with my husband when we're in a hurry to get somewhere and I don't like how any of my clothes fit!
My parents and my husband have always tried to help me and are very supportive. Especially during my teen years, I didn't always take well to the help I was being offered. Sometimes it just made me feel worse about myself and caused me to eat more. I'm the only member of my immediate family with a serious weight problem, so I never felt like anyone else understood. How could they possibly understand something that they've never had to battle? In some ways I suppose I was right, they don't fully understand, but they've always had the right intentions. It's not about how I look, it's about how healthy of a life I'm living. It is about me being able to do all of the things that my heart desires without being limited by my weight. All of their help was, and still is, done out of love! I guess with age and maturity I can understand that better now!
So here we are at the start of another weight loss endeavor! The first week was successful... I lost 2 pounds! It's not anything to do flips for, but it's better than nothing and since the numbers on my scales have only went up this past year it felt great! I was also snowed in for 4 days of the first week, so there was basically no activity! Spring is around the corner and hopefully I'll be down a few pounds and able to get out and get active! My babies are still little, my big boy is about to turn 3 and he's so active and happy! My baby girl is only 1 and even though she's not walking yet, she keeps us on our toes! Last spring with a newborn and a two year old I felt defeated when I thought about carving out some exercise time! But, this spring it's time to get outside! Get active in whatever way I can and interact with my kids while I'm doing it!
Last night we went to the grocery to grab a few things, I grabbed some weight loss shakes for breakfast and my big boy ask what they were. He's very inquisitive and it's a good thing! It makes him smart, but it also helps us connect with him. When the hubby answered saying that "mommy was going on a diet," he wanted to know why. My answer was quick and easy, "so mommy can play with you more and have more fun, do you like that?" With a big smile he quickly shouted "yeah!" It melted my heart... he has no idea yet that I'm not fun or that I can't play with him the way I want to! He doesn't realize that my weight prevents me from doing things that I would otherwise be able to do with him. For him, every little interaction we have together is special and I want to make so many wonderful memories with him and little sister too! This is why I want to conquer my weight problems once and for all! For my babies! It's not a diet now... it's a lifestyle change! It's going to take some time and I'm sure I'll fall off the wagon a few times along the way, but I'm praying that it's different this time. I'm praying that God picks me back up when I fall! I'm praying for God's help, to give me the strength to make a better life for my family! I've tried on my own and failed so many times. This time, I'm relying on God to guide my journey and my family to support me through all of the ups and downs. This time it's not just for me, the purpose is much bigger than that!
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